It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

For those of you that know me you know that I love Christmas! I love to decorate for Christmas--it's the only holiday that I decorate for. I love to give Christmas presents and usually I'm finished with all of my gifts around October. Well, needless to say that this year has been different. I had such a busy summer that I kept putting off Christmas gifts until the kids went back to school in September. Little did I know that my fall held many other plans. BUT, I did manage to get things pretty well taken care of thanks to my trusty PINK computer and my AMEX!! I love to wrap presents and those of you who have seen my tree know that the presents underneath are all coordinated with the tree...gold wrapping paper and burgandy bows. People ask me if the presents are real. YES!!! I wouldn't spend time wrapping empty boxes. :) I don't love wrapping that much!

I love helping my kids make presents for each other. This usually happens the week before Christmas when all of my other projects are finished. Well, this year the closer we get to Christmas the more rotten I feel. I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to help my kids. I never should have worried about this! It has been really fun for me to watch them do for each other on their own! Emilee is the sweetest sister ever! She has been working on things that she came up with on her own. Jed's been working in the garage, and Victoria was even helping Samuel out tonight. I did ask my mom to help them. She's coming tomorrow night and I know that the kitchen will be busy Thursday and Friday. I can't wait!! I'm so glad that Grandma can step in where Mom falls short!

I've been feeling pretty weak and tired this week. I thought I was feeling pretty great tonight when Scott was headed to the store to get D-Con. It seems we've had a little mouse problem in the garage. I went along because Emilee had run out of supplies for one of her presents. We were gone for about 45 minutes total, and we bought 3 things. By the time I got home I was so weak I was shaking. It's very hard for me to not be able to do simple things like go to the store. That's ok. I finished my 15th treatment today. Tomorrow will be 16. I'll only have 17 more to go! I'm about half way. I'm glad I get a 4 day break for Christmas. It will give me a little bit of a chance to regain some strength. I'll take some Christmas pictures of the tree and presents and my cute kids in the next few days. I was a little sad to only have 1 tree. The last few years I've decorated 3. Now I realize that there is only 1 tree to put away and this year that sounds wonderful!!

Hanging on!!

After 9 radiation treatments I am doing great! I had a tough day on Saturday so Scott told me that I wasn't driving anymore. It's so hard to have your independence taken away! Sorry to say that someday I'm going to be one of those little grandmas that is a crazy driver, but NO ONE is going to tell me I can't drive...then or now! :) This morning I was feeling well so I got ready early and headed off as soon as I put my kids on the bus. Post office, Target, back to post office then off to Deaconess for my treatment. They were a little behind so I had to wait some. Then I was off again before the nasty side effects kicked in. Costco, Hobby Lobby, Sears and Down East, and right when I was paying in Down East I hit the wall. I shuffled my way back through the mall and drove home. I was so tired, but I did everything I wanted to do except go to the bank. Then, I made some lunch and fell asleep for a while. I woke up and wrapped the last of my kids' Christmas presents and cleaned out my closet. I made it back to rest on the couch and then got up and fixed dinner. By the time we sat down to dinner I was in so much pain. I ate and then made it back to the couch to rest. For Family Home Evening the kids and Scott made gingerbread houses while I rested. I feel so accomplished today! I'm tired and sore and I'm sure I'll really pay for it tomorrow, but I think it was worth it. We'll see what I say tomorrow. Oh, and my tummy seems to have gotten used to the treatments. I only felt sick once today, horray!!

Merry Christmas From the Jensens

Joy And Magic Christmas Card

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Merry Christmas From the Jensens Continued

I'm having a hard time getting what I want so it's going to have to be two different posts. Sorry. My tummy and my patience are both on the weak side! :)

Here's a sneak peak at our Christmas card for this year. I'm a little late at getting them ordered, and after my treatment today I'm wondering if I'll even get them out. I was so afraid I wasn't going to make it home today without getting sick. I made it today, but we'll see how tomorrow goes. I thought that maybe I'd be spending less time on the couch wrapped in my pink and green quilt in the days to come. Maybe not. The Dr said he didn't expect me to have a hard time until 2-3 weeks into treatments. Hopefully it stays just this icky and doesn't get any worse! For now...

Radiation Begins!

Today I found out what doing radiation feels like--absolutely nothing! It's pretty amazing that you can have that done to you and you don't feel a thing...for a little while. I've done really well today, but I have gone through spells of being really tired. It's been interesting because it comes and goes. I did find that after I ate I had more energy. I was really tired when I was hungry. This might be just what I have been needing! I went to the plastic surgeon today. He thinks I'm a great candidate for taking my tummy fat to use for reconstruction--I just need a little more fat. :) As I was complaining that I didn't want to gain weight he just laughed and said that it's every woman's dream to have her dr tell her that she needs to gain weight. I know...seems like a silly problem. The thing is that I finally after 6 years just got back to my pre-pregnancy weight and now I'm being told to gain it back, ugh! I can't win!! I told him I'd only gain it if he'd promise to cut it all out. He said it's a deal.

First things first. I have my appointment for radiation set for 9:48 every day until sometime in January (when I've gone 30 times I'm done.) Then I have to heal and then we'll talk about reconstruction. I had a friend email me a link to an organization that cleans women cancer patients homes for free during their treatments. I was accepted into their program and tomorrow the lady is coming out to do my walk through and schedule my first cleaning. I'm so excited to have someone come and make my house sparkly clean like I want it to be, but can't do! It's hard to look around and see a floor that needs to be vacuumed and not be able to fix it.

Here's a picture of me with my new friends at Cancer Care Northwest. I wish I could remember their names. I know I'll get to know them a little in the next 6-7 weeks! They are so nice and kind. It was hard to become a regular. I didn't like parking in the spot reserved for radiation or oncology patients. I really would rather not be one of those "special" people! I'd be so happy to give that spot up for someone else! :) I was so grateful though as I looked around at the people in the clinic that I'm still strong and healthy! I have so much to be thankful for!!!

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Giving Thanks!

Today I sit here with my heart over-flowing--unfortunately my eyes start to do the same!! :) I wanted to post this tomorrow, but this morning I have a quiet house all to myself so I'll do it now. This year has been such a whirl wind of emotions! I think back to January and packing up our house that we loved so much in Meridian. We left with many mixed feelings. It was hard to say our good-byes to those we love so much--wonderful neighbors, amazing schools and teachers, and dear, dear friends. We packed up and said our "see you agains" and headed for the place that we hold near and dear to our hearts--Spokane Valley. We thought we had a house right where we believed we wanted to be. At the very last second that fell through so we ended up where we are supposed to be. We have renewed friendships with some wonderful people and made some new dear friends. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father knew where we were supposed to be!! Our children have blossomed here! I sit here in my house in the sunshine and feel so happy that we didn't end up where we thought we were supposed to be.

I am so grateful to be alive and know that I will have many wonderful years ahead of me. I am grateful for my wonderful doctors and all of their staff at Cancer Care Northwest. They have truly been an answer to prayers! Dr Moline's skilled hands have been a blessing! Dr Nichol's wisdom has saved us much trial and many hard times! Dr Lamoreaux's inspired advice will be a blessing for years to come! I am so grateful for the referrals I got for these wonderful doctors. I'm grateful to know many people who have gone through what I've gone through who weren't afraid to share what they've learned with me. I pray each day that I will have people put in my path that I can help as these people have helped me!

I am grateful for the Savior, Jesus Christ! I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been blessed with to grow closer to Him and strengthen my faith in His ability to help me. I know I could not have done this without HIM!! I am grateful for the beautiful world that He created for me. I have enjoyed looking at it while I have been recovering. It is such a blessing!

I am thankful for so many angels--both here and the ones we cannot see. I have had people help me in ways that I never could have dreamed of. I am so grateful for everyone who has come to my rescue during this hard time. I am so grateful for the prayers, hugs, emails, phone calls, cards, meals, help with kids, warm bread, help with all of my nasty tasks (drains, baths, helping me dress--thank goodness only a couple of people had to do these things!) rides for kids, help with YW activities and lessons, etc, etc, etc!! I hope to live long enough to repay everyone!

I'm so thankful that I can be a mom to 5 amazing kids! I'm also very thankful for the wisdom to know when to be done having kids. I can't imagine going through this with my arms full of little ones!



Sam, I'm thankful for your sweet smile, for your bright little mind, for your willingness to help out, for your cute excuses in the middle of the night (well, maybe I'm more thankful for the nights I don't have to hear those little excuses!) for your quick wit, and for your never ending love. I'm grateful that you're in first grade and loving every minute of it (and blowing your teachers away!) I love you little buddy!!

Emilee, I'm so thankful for your willing attitude! You always want to do everything you can to help me. I am so thankful for this! I'm thankful for your determined spirit that never gives up and keeps everything going smoothly. I'm so thankful that when we so badly wanted another boy that you used your determined spirit and came. We are so grateful that we got to have you in our family! I love you Em!!

Julia, your sweet and cheerful attitude have really helped us all through! Your always cheerful disposition (even when you're disobeying) is a boost to all who are around you. You are kind and thoughtful to those you know. People are always wanted to be your friend because everyone feels happy when they are with you. Thank you for keeping me going! I love you Julia!!

Jed, thank you so much for always doing everything you are asked to do right when you are asked. That is truly a mother's dream!! Your compassion has been so wonderful! You are wise beyond your years and a joy for me to watch as you learn and grow and grow and grow! I knew you'd be my red-headed buddy before you came, but somehow you've turned into my big red-headed buddy. Thank you for being such a good big brother to Sam! He loves you and wants to be just like you. Keep being the good example that you are! I love you Jed!!

Victoria, you've turned into such a beautiful young woman! I am so proud of you and all that you've become! I know that it has been hard for you to help around the house, but I'm so thankful for all you've done. I'm so impressed with your determination to train for the half marathon. You will feel so good for your whole life if you keep it up. Thanks for sitting by me and making me laugh. It's been good medicine! I love you Victoria!!

Last, but not least, Scott (or Sweetheart as I call him.) You have been so good to me during all of this upheaval this last year! Not very many husbands would do what you've been willing to do for me, and for this I am so grateful! You have cried with me, laughed with me, and told me to move on and quit crying when I needed to. Your strength and wisdom are amazing! Thank you for giving everything you have for your family. We all love you, but I love you so much!! Thank you for being the man of my dreams!

Sorry for being so mushy! My heart truly is overflowing, and so are my eyes, but I couldn't let this day pass without counting my blessings. I have way more than I even listed. I didn't think that anyone would want to read a post that long! My love goes out to each of you. Hopefully over the next 6-7 weeks as I sit on the couch I will be able to get my Christmas cards sent out. If I don't I'll post them here and you'll all know that I am thinking about you even if my energy doesn't allow me to send one to you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I said last night that this will be my best Thanksgiving ever--I keep getting told to gain weight. When does that happen? Enjoy your loved ones. I've learned that not much else matters!!

Oncotype Score and Video Contest

Today was a good news/bad news day. I'll start with the bad news so I can focus on the good news...the bad news is we didn't win the video contest. We got 2nd place so we really didn't lose, but the video that won didn't even have sound all the way through. She barely squeaked in at the last minute so I think that the drs that voted must have treated her. That's the only thing I can think of...no music, unprofessional video, etc. It's ok because in realty I did win today...on to the good news...

NO CHEMO NEEDED!!!!! My scores from my test came back so low that I don't have to do any chemotherapy! We are so thrilled! Last night after the nurse had called and said that my scores were on the low side and the dr wanted to see us tomorrow we had a good idea that we would find this out. I was trying not to think about it today because it made me nervous. I was very anxious waiting in the doctor's office for her to come in! We are going to go ahead with radiation. Scott and I both feel like this is the right course to take. I told Scott last night that I was feeling like it was right. He said he'd been thinking the same thing, but just didn't want to say it.

I enjoyed a fun day with my friend Brandi. Thanks so much for your help! Only a true friend would come over and fold all of our laundry and bring me a yummy lunch to boot! Thanks so much Brandi, Kate, and Isabelle. It was a great way to spend the day!!

Sneak Peak

Sorry to those of you that will get these pictures later. I just couldn't wait any longer to put our updated pictures on. We had these taken just a week before my surgery. I figured that I would be happy later if we just got our annual photo shoot done. I am very grateful now as I really don't feel up to wearing my regular clothes yet. If I do end up doing chemo I've heard that in one day all of your hair just falls out. So...I figured with all of that said I'd be glad later that we squeezed this in before. I couldn't resist the pink! It's my favorite color. Now we have several reasons to have lots of pink around here!

I had my last post surgery appointment with my surgeon today. She said that everything looks wonderful. She was impressed that with my drains out I didn't make any fluid. She took the bandages off and my incision is almost completely healed. Just 2 little spots left. Each of the spots are about 1/4 inch long. She told me that I still couldn't lift anything, and no repetitive motions. That means no grocery lifting or carrying. No laundry folding. And no vacuuming, of course. She said that I can add things in little by little and that by about 6 weeks from now I should be close to back to normal. I don't think it will take me that long, and I don't think she thinks it will take me that long, but she doesn't want me pushing it. I told her not to worry. I won't be pushing it because it's not worth going backwards. We'll see if I say that in 3 or 4 weeks! My spirit is willing, but my flesh is somewhat weak still. That keeps me a little slow going still.

My kids had today off of school for Veteran's Day. All of the kids but Victoria spent the day at Auntie Deborah's house. Victoria and I enjoyed a quiet afternoon. We spent time on the computer and then watched Emma. Thanks to Auntie Deborah for spoiling kids this afternoon. They all came home happy with full tummies. Sam came and whispered, "Auntie Deborah spoiled us. She took us to Krispy Kreme and bought us each 2 donuts!" The full tummies also came from her feeding them yummy tomato soup for lunch and fettuccine for dinner. Thanks for giving me the day off Deborah!! Tomorrow it's back to school for them and a quiet house for mom.

Thanks for all of the votes for our video contest. I've been so sad to see that we have competition! Hopefully we'll still win! Keep voting until Monday at 5:00 pm!!

The Drains are OUT!!

Yesterday I went in to see my surgeon, Dr Moline. She came in after seeing my chart for my drains and pulled them right out. She said that she wouldn't make me try to measure dust and smoke any longer. The strangest thing was how far inside of me that they were. Scott's eyes were huge after watching her pull them out. I couldn't watch, of course! One went all the way into my arm pit. The other went almost to my collarbone. They came out of me at about my bra line. I had no idea they were that far up in me!

I've been given a few more things that I can do. I have been able to walk down the hill to the bus stop the last 2 days. For those of you that don't know where I live it's hard for you to know what a feat this is. It's about 1/4 mile to the bus stop, and go to it is easy because it's straight down hill. Coming back up is the big thing. I still can't do any repetitive motions like: vacuum, sweep, mop, or fold laundry. The laundry is the hardest part for me! I have kids that are big enough to vacuum and sweep, and they don't make a lot of mess like toddlers do. The laundry is something that I've heard about...I'm out of jeans or out of this or that. I had to tell kids that I couldn't do any about it. That was hard for me, but several times we got out clothes we were waiting to grow into and wore them big. I hope it's been good for my kids to realize all I do...they still probably don't. :) It's ok with me because they figure it out someday like we all did. :)

And I'm sure you're all wondering if I enjoyed my first shower. It was WONDERFUL!!! I hope to never take a hot shower for granted again! I know that when I have my reconstructive surgery it will be the same thing again though so I'll enjoy the showers as long as I can. I'm sure many of you are wondering when that surgery will be. It will probably be in about a year. I told my mom that she could come and help me with that surgery and I'd wait until she could. She graduates in July so it won't be until after that. I will meet with the plastic surgeon in a month or so to talk about my options.

Thank you for all the prayers and support! It really means a lot to me! I laugh when I get comments about being so positive and upbeat. I really am ok with it. It has been very faith promoting for me and my kids to go through this. When people say that I'm so positive I say, I could laugh or cry so I choose to laugh. Don't worry, I have cried. I am normal, but I am ok about it all. I'm just so thankful that I caught it early and I have such a great prognosis! I also learned today that a padded bra hides almost everything!! :)

Still Waiting

Sorry I haven't posted anything since my appointments on Monday. I really don't know anymore than I did then. The radiologist said that he is on the fence with his recommendation. He said that he is leaving it up to us as to whether or not we choose to do radiation. He said that he brought my case to tumor board, and with the findings of the pathology report everyone there overwhelmingly recommended that I do radiation.

Then, we left his office and drove over to see the oncologist. She was wonderful!! I really feel like she is who I'm supposed to be working with. She is sending my largest tumor to a lab in California. At that lab they are doing what is called oncotype. This tests gives a numerical score after it has tested my tumor on chemo and other things. It gives a score that they base the need for chemo on. The oncologist said that she doesn't do chemo unless it is necessary. I was really grateful for her approach to things! She said that if I do need chemo that I will have it 4 times. They will do my first treatment the week after Thanksgiving. Then 3 weeks later I will have my next, 3 weeks my next, and three weeks later my last. Not too bad...at least right now it's easy to say that! :)

I should know my oncotype score in about 2 weeks. Pray for good results! First is chemo, if needed, then is radiation, if we decide to do it, and then I'll be done!!

Thank you to everyone who is voting for our video!! I was disappointed this week to see that we had competition. The hard part is that the board of directors gets to decide in the end who wins. I know that the votes help too! :)

The Adventures of Recovering

Here's a picture of me coming out of the hospital on Tuesday morning. I personally think it should be illegal for someone to look this great 24 hours after surgery. I can't believe that my hair survived laying in that hospital bed! I didn't even brush it!! I wish it looked that good now! I'm hoping that I can get it washed and have Victoria do it for me today. I'm so tired of looking like a bedhead!

Tuesday evening Sam came up to me and showed me a little bump on the back of his head that "doesn't belong there." I looked at it and really didn't think anything of it. I put a little Neosporin on it and sent him on his way. Then a few minutes later he was back by me. I think he was wanting to be close and needing a little mommy time and attention. I put my hand right on his back and rubbed it. I immediately said that someone needed to turn on the lights because I thought Sam might have the chicken pox, and sure enough... by the next morning he was covered. Really he's done super well, and I'm pretty sure he'll be back to school tomorrow.

Then, I was lamenting the fact that Emilee hadn't had the chicken pox and two weeks later we'd be doing it all over again. Well, by Thursday night she was starting to break out too! I'm so perplexed as to where they got them. I haven't heard of anyone with them, so I can't figure out where they were both exposed to them at the same time.

Poor Emilee is pretty miserable right now! She's "wanted" chicken pox anytime she's heard about someone having them, but now she's decided that she could have passed on this experience. I'm so grateful that this happened now...I can't imagine how hard it would have been if I was going through chemo. I wouldn't have been able to be around them.

I'm doing pretty well though. I continue to feel stronger every day. I haven't taken a pain pill since Friday, and even then I only took 1/2 or 1 each day after my surgery. I take Tylenol a couple of times a day since that seems to do more for me than Motrin.

Tomorrow I meet with the radiologist and the oncologist. I'm very anxious to hear what they say since we know everything about the tumors and my lymph nodes now. There are no more ifs or maybes. I will post when I know and I'm up to it. Tomorrow will be a real test of my endurance. It will probably wear me out to be up and about.

Thursday I see Dr Moline and hopefully get my drains out. Can I say I really HATE my drains!?! They are the worst part of this whole thing! They both have very little fluid so I'm hopeful that she will take them out. When my drains are gone I think I'm healed up enough to wear a regular bra again so I can start wearing normal clothes and feeling normal again. Oh, and I'll get to shower again. Then I'll be able to do my hair and look and feel (and smell) normal again!!

Thank you for all of the votes for our video! I'm pretty sure as long as no one else enters in the next week and a half we will win!! So keep on voting!

Happy Birthday to an AMAZING Man!!

First off, Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband! I feel so sorry that he has a grouchy wife today. I warned my kids that Mom is feeling well enough to be really grouchy so they'd better do what they're supposed to! I've been a great arm chair quarter-back today. I've ordered everyone around and noticed every little thing out of place. My poor husband has worked since he walked in the door tonight...so much for a wonderful, relaxing day today!

At least for his Birthday we got a great call from Dr Moline. We couldn't find the phone in time so we had to settle for a message that said that the pathology reports were in hot off the press so drum roll please...negative lymph nodes, (HUGE APPLAUSE) negative margins, (EVEN BIGGER APPLAUSE) so no surprises at all. Just what we already knew from the biopsies and other tests. I do want to ask about the exact size of the tumors, but that will have to wait until tomorrow when I call to ask when I can get these stupid drains out. There wouldn't be much pain at all if I didn't have them so I'm very anxious to get them out and to be able to take a shower!!

As for right now. I don't need any pain meds as long as I don't move so I'm staying very still and have only had to have 1 pain pill today. I'm feeling like I will survive!! Thank you for your prayers and support. They mean more than I can ever express. Tonight I'll sleep really well knowing that I truly am cancer free!!

Vote for Our Video

Here is the link to the video we posted for the Early Detection video contest. Please go and vote for us!

http://kxly.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=18323&s=5361070%i=1

The Big Day

We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 this morning for Rebecca's 8:00 am scheduled surgery. We were hoping to avoid the type of craziness we experienced yesterday when we went for her pre-opp nuclear injection. Yesterday's supposed 30 minute visit turned into a 3 hour bore-fest. Even though it was not what we were hoping for yesterday everything eventually got taken care of and we were no worse for the wear.

They took Rebecca back a little after 8:00 am to do her pre-opp preparations. Of course she was raving about the beautiful sky blue head dressing she got to wear. I didn't feel to bad for her though - at least she has hair to keep at of the way. After about half an hour they were ready to wheel her back to the O.R. The anesthesiologist came and gave her a nice "cocktail" and before she knew it she was out.

About 10:30 the doctor came out and told me that the surgery was over and Rebecca was in post-opp recovery. She said that everything went well and that the lymph nodes they removed all looked normal to her, though they wouldn't be sure until after the lab had a chance to study them under a microscope.

After about another hour they wheeled her out and up to her room. It's kind of funny because the floor we're on is the same one where all of our girls were born. Those trips to the 9th floor of Sacred Heart were a little bit more exciting.

She's doing fine and enjoying the opportunity to rest as much as she pleases. Thank you for all your thoughts and heart-felt prayers. They have meant a lot to us.

Almost Ready...

I think I'm about ready! I've shopped, baked, canned and cleaned to get everything ready for my family for the next few weeks. Here are some pictures to show my work:

All I have left to do is cut Jed's hair, make one more bed, vacuum, and wrap Scott's Birthday presents. YEAH!! I wasn't sure sometimes if I'd get my whole list done. The house is clean and the freezers are...well, let's just say they're stuffed! Here's the proof of a couple of the freezers. I didn't want to bore everyone with all of them.

I think they'll be fed for a while. They are bringing meals for the next 2 weeks so this food will last for a couple of months! Off to get my last couple of things done. I'll be picking Lee up in about 4 1/2 hours. I should have a nice, relaxing Sunday before it all happens on Monday!

Who says the 13th is bad!?!

Today is such a great day!! It's the second best thing that could happen to us on October 13th! (For those of you who don't know today is Sam's Birthday) I got news today that my BRCA gene testing came back negative. I do not have the BRCA gene (the gene) that causes breast, ovarian, and prostate cancer so I know that I don't have it and I didn't pass it on to my kids!

So...one big piece of the puzzle complete. Now we just keep praying for good surgery results.

Two Weeks and Counting

Today after spending the entire day in doctors' offices I finally know a little more about the direction of my treatments. Two weeks from today I will have a mastectomy. After the surgery is finished the tissue will be sent to pathology and they will determine a few things. The first is if the tumors were removed with clean margins. The next is if the tumors that are seen on the tests are several separate tumors or if they are all the same tumor with lots of branches. If they are separate then that is HUGE in determining the need for any further treatments. If the margins are clean (meaning that they removed the all of the cancer) then that will also be a HUGE piece in the decision whether or not to do more treatments. Another factor is if I'm a carrier of the BRCA gene.

The test I had done Friday (PEM) showed that there is more cancer than was previously thought in the left side, but the right side looks completely clear. Also, it shows my lymph nodes are clear. Dr Moline plans to remove my sentinel node during my surgery to biopsy to be extra sure there is not cancer there.

Today we met with the Radiologist, Dr. Lamoureax. He was wonderful and spent 2 hours with us explaining everything. He says that IF the surgery is successful with good margins and my nodes are clear AND I test negative for the BRCA gene then radiation shouldn't be necessary. I won't meet with the oncologist until after surgery, but Dr Moline says she thinks that Dr Nichols will same the same about chemo. IF everything goes just how we want I may not have any chemo at all or very little that is much weaker than most.

Scott and I felt very peaceful with our day. We are so grateful that we found Cancer Care Northwest and are feeling the blessings of early detection. We continue to pray for good surgery results and that I'm not a gene carrier. We are so grateful that Scott's wonderful mom is coming to help us during the surgery time. I will only be in the hospital for 23 hours so it's still considered "outpatient" so I will have a lot of recovery time at home.

So two weeks and counting...I have lots to do to get ready!!!

Sometimes Cancer Really Stinks!!

Today I got the results of my biopsy Friday, and yes, there is more cancer. Dr Moline said that there isn't any way to do the lumpectomy so I'm getting scheduled for a mastectomy. The scheduler called and said that they will plan to do it on October 20th. Well, I didn't like that a whole lot since that's my Birthday. She was going to try to squeeze me into the 18th, but I don't want to be waiting all day for my turn for surgery. So...she's going to talk to Dr Moline and see if we can wait for the 25th as that's Dr Moline's next available day. Also, since they haven't done any biopsies on the right they are going to hold off doing anything on that side until after the PEM test on Friday. Dr Moline said that it looks like I'm going to have to have radiation and chemo after surgery so they won't do reconstruction until later.

I get to meet with the oncologist and radiologist next week sometime to see what my treatments will be and when I get to start. Right now we are praying for good results of the PEM so that we can feel good about one more test that says that my lymph nodes are good.

Even with the results of another cancerous tumor the good news is that it is about 5x7x12 mm. It's not very big so if my lymph system is clear like they think then I still have stage 1 cancer. Today was harder than I thought it would be, but I am so grateful that it was caught so early. I told Dr Moline that my breasts have served their purpose by blessing me to nurse my 5 beautiful babies and that I haven't needed them for a while. I'm so grateful for the timing of this! I'm so grateful that my kids are big and a great help to me! I'm also grateful that today the sun is shining in my house as I work feverishly to get the things done that I need to before my surgery! I'm so grateful to live here in Spokane and have Dr Moline. She has been a huge blessing to me in this! Thank you all for your love and support to me and my family. Like I've heard said before, "There will be one less boob in the family soon!" :) (Thanks to Grandma Ginnie and her example of handling breast cancer gracefully! I know she's smiling down on us right now, and Grandma Bonnie too!)

I guess the last good thing is that I get a tummy tuck when they do my reconstructive surgery kind of as a bonus. They will use the fat in my belly and just move it up. Then, they will take away my c-section scar and make my tummy flat and beautiful. I've always dreamed of doing these surgeries. Before they were a dream. Now, it's planning when they will become a reality. :)

Just waiting...

I'm learning right now to play the waiting game. I have spent so much time getting the tests done that I need to. I'm hoping that with the ones I have scheduled that next week will be a quiet one as Scott will be gone. I got the results of my MRI and they weren't really what we wanted. They saw 3 other masses in the left side, and one in the right. I went right in for another ultrasound. The sonographer couldn't find any of the 4 they were looking for so she went to get the radiologist. He couldn't find them either. That was good news and bad news. The good news being that it may mean they are regular tissue just reacting to the MRI that way, the bad news is that they may only be able to find them again to biopsy them with an MRI guided biopsy.

Yesterday Dr Moline's office called to say that they were going to go ahead and biopsy the one largest mass that they could see with an ultrasound guided biopsy. Oh, and I forgot the other good news/bad news about the new masses. Good news is that they are all small. They are 3, 5, and 7mm. The bad news is that it means that I may have a double mastectomy if there's a lot of cancer spread all over. I guess the good news with that is Dr Moline said they would do the mastectomy and the reconstruction surgery all at the same time so I wouldn't have to do two separate surgeries.

So...tomorrow is another biopsy, but this one is supposed to be easier than the last because this is a needle biopsy so it's less invasive than the last one. Also, I made sure to schedule this one when Scott is here to help me. Next Friday is the PIM test that is another dye test that mostly looks at my lymph nodes. When I had my ultrasound on Tuesday they took lots of pictures of my lymph nodes then and they said they look very normal so that's a good thing! Also, next week I should be able to do the blood draw for the BRCA gene test. That will help and be a large piece of the puzzle as well.

When I was doing some of the tests this week I found out that our deductible isn't what we thought. Since we are on a family plan we have to meet our entire family deductible which is $5500! I was so shocked! We thought it was $2700/person with a maximum of $5500. Well, turns out we were wrong. I'm grateful we have the money in the bank, but was so disappointed to have to spend it on something so dumb as cancer treatments. I wish we could use it for a vacation to Hawaii! Then I heard about a contest that is for early detection of breast cancer. I went online to find out about it. They grand prize is $5000! You have to make a 60 second commercial of how early detection saved your life or the life of a loved one. Then you submit it and have people vote on it. When I went to the site to see how many there were to vote on there was only 1 and it's so stupid!! So we are going to make a video and try to win. I'll post the link when it's done so that everyone can go on and vote because I want to win! Then maybe we can save that money for a Hawaiian vacation when I'm well! :)

So right now as we wait for all the tests to come together we keep praying. I KNOW I'm going to be ok! I KNOW that I will (and already have) learn so much and be a better person and more understanding of others when they go through trials in their lives. One thing I know is that we all have trials, and I'm so glad I have the ones I have and not others! Thank you for your love and prayers! Scott was so sweet last night when we were praying. He was so grateful for the prayers and faith by so many in our behalf. We feel very blessed!

Tests, tests, and even more tests

Today Scott and I went to see Dr Moline at Cancer Care Northwest. We were told that she had some time this morning so she was "fitting" us into her schedule. Our appointment was at 9:30. We didn't leave her office until about 12:15. Dr Moline was with us all except the first 15 minutes. She was so thorough! She is ordering more tests so she can be more sure of what she's going into with the surgery. She was so amazing to explain every detail! She was very matter of fact in everything that she said and did. We had a lady in our ward tell us that if someone didn't treat us like gold then we needed to find someone else to see. Well, after today I can say that Dr Moline and everyone we saw at Cancer Care Northwest did treat us like gold.

I expected Dr Moline to be in a huge hurry since she fit us in today. Not at all!! She was so willing to explain and answer every question we had even though I don't think we had any questions after she explained everything so well. I have an MRI scheduled for October 5th, but Dr Moline was going to try to get that moved up. Then she is going to do another dye test, then with those results she is going to schedule surgery. After surgery, and a few more tests we will decide on whether to do chemo or radiation. These will be decided after the results of the tests are complete and after the oncologist sees all of the factors. Dr Moline recommended an oncologist and radiologist that she likes the best.

I left with my head spinning from all of the information, and a binder that Dr Moline gave us to keep track of everything we would be getting over the course of my treatments. I'm grateful that Scott was there with me to help me remember and make sense of it all! Dr Moline said that we absorb about 25% of what we hear so it's good to have 2 people so that we can hopefully get 50% of it. I thought when I was in with her I was getting all of it, but now I'm wondering exactly all she said.

I wish I had more imformation to post. Really we don't know any more than we did earlier in the week. We just need to get some tests done before we can proceed. There are a few things we won't know until after surgery. Right now we are just praying that: 1.There is no Lymph involvement. 2.I do not carry the BRACA gene 3. That I'll be able to do radiation instead of chemo. There are a few more things, but right now those are the biggest.

We'll keep you posted when I find those things out. Thanks for your love and prayers!!

I am a Survivor!

I realized today I need to learn to be patient waiting for the doctor! I also learned that I need to make sure to bring a good book with me! Scott and I met with Dr Clyde today. Now, the interesting thing about meeting with Dr Clyde is that originally when my OB/Gyn office referred me to a surgeon it was Dr Clyde they recommended. Well, Dr Clyde was booked out 2 months so they scheduled me with Dr Lin. Dr Lin is a general surgeon, and Dr Clyde is a breast surgeon. Well, Dr Lin was too busy this week to meet with us so he turned us over to Dr Clyde. It's amazing how fast we got in all of a sudden!

Dr Clyde was very helpful. He was good at explaining things to me. Now, for the news that everyone is anxious to hear...I have the best, easiest to cure breast cancer. HOORAY!! Dr Clyde says that a lumpectomy has to be done so they can use the tumor to test how it will respond to radiation and chemotherapy. The good news as well is that Dr Clyde says usually my kind of cancer doesn't need chemo so he thinks it will be my outpatient lumpectomy then 6 weeks of 5 days a week radiation. He said that there isn't any hair loss (darn it--I was looking forward to not having to do my hair and being able to have a short spiky style after it started growing back in!) and the good part--not being sick to my stomach!! I know they make everything seem rosy, but my biggest fear is throwing up all day!

Then, the other good news of the day is that I have had a cancer clinic here very highly recommended to me. There is a particular breast surgeon there that is a woman (named Dr Moline), and very highly recommended. I called to make an appointment with her yesterday and they said she wouldn't make the appointment until she saw my records, but that she was booked out several weeks. I said I would wait as long as I needed to see her. So...they ordered the records and her office called today to say that she would squeeze me in Friday morning. I was glad about that, but then her scheduling lady said, Dr Moline said to make sure you know that the tumor is very small. I told her I knew that already because I had asked Dr Clyde. Dr Clyde said that the tumor is 1 cm in diameter! So small and so early!

The question that I keep getting is what stage? I asked Dr Clyde today, and he said he couldn't say for sure until he does the lumpectomy, but right now from the looks of everything he thinks I'm stage 1. Wow! What a relief! I went to run some errands after I was done and I found a necklace that I bought. It says SURVIVOR on the necklace. On the card it says, "Survivor. Accepting, challenging, fighting, accomplishing, surviving." I had to buy it. I will see it often to remind me if I ever forget...I love those words. I am a survivor!

Thank you for your love and prayers! We truly feel the support! The kids are doing well, but I know their little and big minds are spinning now with everything that's going on. Jed forgot to do his homework over the weekend. He had to run in PE because he forgot clothes to dress-down in. Julia and Emilee are having a hard time getting to sleep at night. Maybe that's because they giggle too long. Victoria gets teary easily, but she told her Seminary class yesterday about it and said that they needed to sing Where Can I Turn For Peace? She did tell them that her whole family was peaceful with it. Sam says he can't get settled in at night to sleep, but I think that's because he is too excited to go to school that he still can't sleep. :) All in all we are doing really well! Today I feel so blessed that we caught it so early, and all of the results from the report were so positive in being able to treat it. I'm so glad to know that I will be cancer free by Christmas! We will have a lot to celebrate then!

Life Throws Us Curve Balls!

For those of you that haven't heard...yesterday I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. That is one word that I never even imagined being discussed so much in my home. Well, maybe about other people, but NEVER about me!

Right now I feel very blessed! It seems funny to be so grateful at a time like this, but I am. We are very surrounded by wonderful people that are so willing to help. We are blessed with the fact that we don't have a mortgage and have our down payment for a new house sitting in the bank. We are blessed with the foresight that Scott has that he took out a cancer policy on our family 1 year ago. It will help cover some of the expenses that our health insurance won't. I am grateful that all of my kids are in school all day long so I won't feel guilty leaving them when I need treatments, but most of all...I'm so grateful that we caught it so early and that it is very treatable!

Scott and I will meet with my surgeon next week. He will put together some treatment options. I am guessing that the first will be to send me to an Oncologist. The surgeon said that because of the location of the tumor it isn't very easy to operate, and that because it's so early it won't be necessary anyway. I'm so relieved with this as the biopsy was very painful and not easy for me to keep up my normal pace. :) I know that my pace will have to slow down a little, but hopefully not too much!

I will continue to post here what is going on. This way I don't have to explain the same thing over and over again. With that being said, I'm happy to talk to people. As you all know I'm a great talker so...

The good news is that I'm not afraid! My kids are doing really well. They are so happy to help now that they know what's wrong with Mom. Earlier in the week they were so puzzled as to why I was laying on the couch and kept asking them to do things. That's a different thing for them. Life is going to change a little around here. Julia is excited to have people bring meals. She hopes that they bring dessert! We are all trying to find the silver lining, and right now that's easy. Hopefully we'll be able to do that right in the middle of treatments.

I will post more when I know more. Thank you for your love and prayers. It's a very humbling thing!