Shutterfly Christmas Cards

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Giving Thanks!

Today I sit here with my heart over-flowing--unfortunately my eyes start to do the same!! :) I wanted to post this tomorrow, but this morning I have a quiet house all to myself so I'll do it now. This year has been such a whirl wind of emotions! I think back to January and packing up our house that we loved so much in Meridian. We left with many mixed feelings. It was hard to say our good-byes to those we love so much--wonderful neighbors, amazing schools and teachers, and dear, dear friends. We packed up and said our "see you agains" and headed for the place that we hold near and dear to our hearts--Spokane Valley. We thought we had a house right where we believed we wanted to be. At the very last second that fell through so we ended up where we are supposed to be. We have renewed friendships with some wonderful people and made some new dear friends. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father knew where we were supposed to be!! Our children have blossomed here! I sit here in my house in the sunshine and feel so happy that we didn't end up where we thought we were supposed to be.

I am so grateful to be alive and know that I will have many wonderful years ahead of me. I am grateful for my wonderful doctors and all of their staff at Cancer Care Northwest. They have truly been an answer to prayers! Dr Moline's skilled hands have been a blessing! Dr Nichol's wisdom has saved us much trial and many hard times! Dr Lamoreaux's inspired advice will be a blessing for years to come! I am so grateful for the referrals I got for these wonderful doctors. I'm grateful to know many people who have gone through what I've gone through who weren't afraid to share what they've learned with me. I pray each day that I will have people put in my path that I can help as these people have helped me!

I am grateful for the Savior, Jesus Christ! I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been blessed with to grow closer to Him and strengthen my faith in His ability to help me. I know I could not have done this without HIM!! I am grateful for the beautiful world that He created for me. I have enjoyed looking at it while I have been recovering. It is such a blessing!

I am thankful for so many angels--both here and the ones we cannot see. I have had people help me in ways that I never could have dreamed of. I am so grateful for everyone who has come to my rescue during this hard time. I am so grateful for the prayers, hugs, emails, phone calls, cards, meals, help with kids, warm bread, help with all of my nasty tasks (drains, baths, helping me dress--thank goodness only a couple of people had to do these things!) rides for kids, help with YW activities and lessons, etc, etc, etc!! I hope to live long enough to repay everyone!

I'm so thankful that I can be a mom to 5 amazing kids! I'm also very thankful for the wisdom to know when to be done having kids. I can't imagine going through this with my arms full of little ones!



Sam, I'm thankful for your sweet smile, for your bright little mind, for your willingness to help out, for your cute excuses in the middle of the night (well, maybe I'm more thankful for the nights I don't have to hear those little excuses!) for your quick wit, and for your never ending love. I'm grateful that you're in first grade and loving every minute of it (and blowing your teachers away!) I love you little buddy!!

Emilee, I'm so thankful for your willing attitude! You always want to do everything you can to help me. I am so thankful for this! I'm thankful for your determined spirit that never gives up and keeps everything going smoothly. I'm so thankful that when we so badly wanted another boy that you used your determined spirit and came. We are so grateful that we got to have you in our family! I love you Em!!

Julia, your sweet and cheerful attitude have really helped us all through! Your always cheerful disposition (even when you're disobeying) is a boost to all who are around you. You are kind and thoughtful to those you know. People are always wanted to be your friend because everyone feels happy when they are with you. Thank you for keeping me going! I love you Julia!!

Jed, thank you so much for always doing everything you are asked to do right when you are asked. That is truly a mother's dream!! Your compassion has been so wonderful! You are wise beyond your years and a joy for me to watch as you learn and grow and grow and grow! I knew you'd be my red-headed buddy before you came, but somehow you've turned into my big red-headed buddy. Thank you for being such a good big brother to Sam! He loves you and wants to be just like you. Keep being the good example that you are! I love you Jed!!

Victoria, you've turned into such a beautiful young woman! I am so proud of you and all that you've become! I know that it has been hard for you to help around the house, but I'm so thankful for all you've done. I'm so impressed with your determination to train for the half marathon. You will feel so good for your whole life if you keep it up. Thanks for sitting by me and making me laugh. It's been good medicine! I love you Victoria!!

Last, but not least, Scott (or Sweetheart as I call him.) You have been so good to me during all of this upheaval this last year! Not very many husbands would do what you've been willing to do for me, and for this I am so grateful! You have cried with me, laughed with me, and told me to move on and quit crying when I needed to. Your strength and wisdom are amazing! Thank you for giving everything you have for your family. We all love you, but I love you so much!! Thank you for being the man of my dreams!

Sorry for being so mushy! My heart truly is overflowing, and so are my eyes, but I couldn't let this day pass without counting my blessings. I have way more than I even listed. I didn't think that anyone would want to read a post that long! My love goes out to each of you. Hopefully over the next 6-7 weeks as I sit on the couch I will be able to get my Christmas cards sent out. If I don't I'll post them here and you'll all know that I am thinking about you even if my energy doesn't allow me to send one to you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I said last night that this will be my best Thanksgiving ever--I keep getting told to gain weight. When does that happen? Enjoy your loved ones. I've learned that not much else matters!!

Oncotype Score and Video Contest

Today was a good news/bad news day. I'll start with the bad news so I can focus on the good news...the bad news is we didn't win the video contest. We got 2nd place so we really didn't lose, but the video that won didn't even have sound all the way through. She barely squeaked in at the last minute so I think that the drs that voted must have treated her. That's the only thing I can think of...no music, unprofessional video, etc. It's ok because in realty I did win today...on to the good news...

NO CHEMO NEEDED!!!!! My scores from my test came back so low that I don't have to do any chemotherapy! We are so thrilled! Last night after the nurse had called and said that my scores were on the low side and the dr wanted to see us tomorrow we had a good idea that we would find this out. I was trying not to think about it today because it made me nervous. I was very anxious waiting in the doctor's office for her to come in! We are going to go ahead with radiation. Scott and I both feel like this is the right course to take. I told Scott last night that I was feeling like it was right. He said he'd been thinking the same thing, but just didn't want to say it.

I enjoyed a fun day with my friend Brandi. Thanks so much for your help! Only a true friend would come over and fold all of our laundry and bring me a yummy lunch to boot! Thanks so much Brandi, Kate, and Isabelle. It was a great way to spend the day!!

Sneak Peak

Sorry to those of you that will get these pictures later. I just couldn't wait any longer to put our updated pictures on. We had these taken just a week before my surgery. I figured that I would be happy later if we just got our annual photo shoot done. I am very grateful now as I really don't feel up to wearing my regular clothes yet. If I do end up doing chemo I've heard that in one day all of your hair just falls out. So...I figured with all of that said I'd be glad later that we squeezed this in before. I couldn't resist the pink! It's my favorite color. Now we have several reasons to have lots of pink around here!

I had my last post surgery appointment with my surgeon today. She said that everything looks wonderful. She was impressed that with my drains out I didn't make any fluid. She took the bandages off and my incision is almost completely healed. Just 2 little spots left. Each of the spots are about 1/4 inch long. She told me that I still couldn't lift anything, and no repetitive motions. That means no grocery lifting or carrying. No laundry folding. And no vacuuming, of course. She said that I can add things in little by little and that by about 6 weeks from now I should be close to back to normal. I don't think it will take me that long, and I don't think she thinks it will take me that long, but she doesn't want me pushing it. I told her not to worry. I won't be pushing it because it's not worth going backwards. We'll see if I say that in 3 or 4 weeks! My spirit is willing, but my flesh is somewhat weak still. That keeps me a little slow going still.

My kids had today off of school for Veteran's Day. All of the kids but Victoria spent the day at Auntie Deborah's house. Victoria and I enjoyed a quiet afternoon. We spent time on the computer and then watched Emma. Thanks to Auntie Deborah for spoiling kids this afternoon. They all came home happy with full tummies. Sam came and whispered, "Auntie Deborah spoiled us. She took us to Krispy Kreme and bought us each 2 donuts!" The full tummies also came from her feeding them yummy tomato soup for lunch and fettuccine for dinner. Thanks for giving me the day off Deborah!! Tomorrow it's back to school for them and a quiet house for mom.

Thanks for all of the votes for our video contest. I've been so sad to see that we have competition! Hopefully we'll still win! Keep voting until Monday at 5:00 pm!!

The Drains are OUT!!

Yesterday I went in to see my surgeon, Dr Moline. She came in after seeing my chart for my drains and pulled them right out. She said that she wouldn't make me try to measure dust and smoke any longer. The strangest thing was how far inside of me that they were. Scott's eyes were huge after watching her pull them out. I couldn't watch, of course! One went all the way into my arm pit. The other went almost to my collarbone. They came out of me at about my bra line. I had no idea they were that far up in me!

I've been given a few more things that I can do. I have been able to walk down the hill to the bus stop the last 2 days. For those of you that don't know where I live it's hard for you to know what a feat this is. It's about 1/4 mile to the bus stop, and go to it is easy because it's straight down hill. Coming back up is the big thing. I still can't do any repetitive motions like: vacuum, sweep, mop, or fold laundry. The laundry is the hardest part for me! I have kids that are big enough to vacuum and sweep, and they don't make a lot of mess like toddlers do. The laundry is something that I've heard about...I'm out of jeans or out of this or that. I had to tell kids that I couldn't do any about it. That was hard for me, but several times we got out clothes we were waiting to grow into and wore them big. I hope it's been good for my kids to realize all I do...they still probably don't. :) It's ok with me because they figure it out someday like we all did. :)

And I'm sure you're all wondering if I enjoyed my first shower. It was WONDERFUL!!! I hope to never take a hot shower for granted again! I know that when I have my reconstructive surgery it will be the same thing again though so I'll enjoy the showers as long as I can. I'm sure many of you are wondering when that surgery will be. It will probably be in about a year. I told my mom that she could come and help me with that surgery and I'd wait until she could. She graduates in July so it won't be until after that. I will meet with the plastic surgeon in a month or so to talk about my options.

Thank you for all the prayers and support! It really means a lot to me! I laugh when I get comments about being so positive and upbeat. I really am ok with it. It has been very faith promoting for me and my kids to go through this. When people say that I'm so positive I say, I could laugh or cry so I choose to laugh. Don't worry, I have cried. I am normal, but I am ok about it all. I'm just so thankful that I caught it early and I have such a great prognosis! I also learned today that a padded bra hides almost everything!! :)

Still Waiting

Sorry I haven't posted anything since my appointments on Monday. I really don't know anymore than I did then. The radiologist said that he is on the fence with his recommendation. He said that he is leaving it up to us as to whether or not we choose to do radiation. He said that he brought my case to tumor board, and with the findings of the pathology report everyone there overwhelmingly recommended that I do radiation.

Then, we left his office and drove over to see the oncologist. She was wonderful!! I really feel like she is who I'm supposed to be working with. She is sending my largest tumor to a lab in California. At that lab they are doing what is called oncotype. This tests gives a numerical score after it has tested my tumor on chemo and other things. It gives a score that they base the need for chemo on. The oncologist said that she doesn't do chemo unless it is necessary. I was really grateful for her approach to things! She said that if I do need chemo that I will have it 4 times. They will do my first treatment the week after Thanksgiving. Then 3 weeks later I will have my next, 3 weeks my next, and three weeks later my last. Not too bad...at least right now it's easy to say that! :)

I should know my oncotype score in about 2 weeks. Pray for good results! First is chemo, if needed, then is radiation, if we decide to do it, and then I'll be done!!

Thank you to everyone who is voting for our video!! I was disappointed this week to see that we had competition. The hard part is that the board of directors gets to decide in the end who wins. I know that the votes help too! :)